When the girls were still in the NICU, I spent hours every day bonding with the nurses. As the girls got closer to coming home, we often started to talk about how I was going to manage the poop-eat-sleep schedule for 3 babies every 3-4 hours. One of the pieces of advice that I never forgot was to DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO TO GET YOUR REST.
Over the years, the tricks to get the girls to sleep while getting enough sleep ourselves has obviously changed. We went through countless crib/sleeping arrangement changes when the babies were little....co-bedding 2 babies, while seperating our screamer/difficult eater (Alyssa) and splitting nightime feeding shifts between Steve and I. Mastering the tightest swaddle possible to propping their binkies in their mouths with rolled up blankets while they were napping in their swings. Eventually, we moved them all into seperate bedrooms so that they didn't wake each other up in the mornings or during naptimes. ALL IN AN EFFORT TO SLEEP as best as possible.
We didn't transition to beds until they were 4. Primarily because they never got out of their cribs after they went down for naps or bedtime and I didn't want to ruin a good thing. When we did transition to beds, it was really smooth. They truly are great sleepers.
And now for my confession. The confession that I am completely embarrassed to admit in public. The confession that I haven't blogged about for fear of blog commenters being completely judgemental of me. The girls still have their binkies at bedtime. GASP! I KNOW. They are almost 5 and are certified binkie addicts. There has to be a support group for us somewhere.
For the last 6 months or so, I have been telling the girls that they can't go to kindergarten still using a binkie. I emphasize that they are big girls and that they don't need it. There were times when they tried to sleep without it for maybe 5 minutes before sobbing that they couldn't sleep without it. And I was probably exhausted and in need of a nap myself, so I gave the beloved binkie back just so we could all get some sleep.
BUT, we have had a binkie breakthrough people. It happened by accident. Last Friday night, Alyssa couldn't find her binkie and I was tired of looking for it. Seriously. She's almost 5. So in that split second I decided I wasn't going to give in and go get one from the binkie stash in my dresser. Yes, I have a binkie stash. I told you that we were in need of a 12-step program. Anyway, Alyssa cried in her bed for about 10 minutes. She got herself all good and worked up and was at the point of hysteria about not having her binkie. So I did what all good moms do. I bribed her with candy. And guess what? It worked.
She was SO proud of herself for being a big girl and sleeping without her binkie. She picked out her Hello Kitty candy necklace on Saturday morning. I told her that if she was able to go a whole week without her binkie, we would take her to the store and she could pick out a new toy or dress. So we are on night 6 of no binkie for Alyssa. I am confident she will be picking out her new dress on Saturday.
Makena and Riley have gone back and forth in their willingness to give up their binkies since Alyssa's milestone on Friday. They were pretty envious over the candy necklace she picked out on Saturday morning but it wasn't enough to convince them to ditch the binkie themselves.
Until today.
Behold, Miss Riley's first night without her binkie. She's got her little heart set on a candy necklace tomorrow and mama's got her bribing pants on.
Sometimes peer pressure from your siblings pays off. Let's hope Makena has a breakthrough soon.
25 comments:
I've been a lurker here and I wanted to tell you about my story. My son also needed a binky to sleep and he was almost 3. I was so embarassed also. I also could not get him to kick this bad habit. I've tried everything. He had the same binky your daughters have. Anyway, one night, he was watching his dad pee and he had the binky in his mouth. He opened his mouth to talk to his dad and the binky fell on the toilet! I took that opportunity and told him it's all over. (even though I have many other binkys stashed just like you)
He couldn't blame me bec he dropped it himself and saw it with his own eyes. If I told him I dropped it in the toilet, he wouldn't believe me. After that, he never asked for a binky again bec he knew, it's gone forever.
Consider it an incentive not a bribe! I got Sabrina to stop biting her fingernails at the age of 14 with an incentive of $100 of iTunes money. She had to go a month without biting to get it, and I told her I would take her iPod back if she started again. Today she has beautiful unbitten fingernails! I say whatever works - works!
Two of my boys are binky addicts too, and I've been contemplating how to get rid of them. If only they could be swayed by a pretty dress. ;)
I love this post.....I can completely empathize with you. I have a nearly five year old who still sucks her thumb for bed and simply because she is bored. Here twins sisters who are now five months old have begun to find their thumbs and will no longer take their binkies. I don't know how I will break the habit with my five year old so KUDOS Momma for getting two of three :-) There are worse habits for them to have and in the big picture, it won't matter that they sucked their binkies until age five (or possibly later in my case) but your sanity could be in jeopardy without good sleep....I know that first hand these days....did I mention the newborn twins?
I am with your other commenter. It's not bribery but incentive and the whole entire world works on incentives (paycheck is an example).
That being said we are trying to give up finger sucking and thumb sucking before kindergarten. I can't take it away so its pretty hard. We tried this week one night and it was a total fail! Ahh!
Congrats to your girls. Peer pressure really is a great tool. I use it all the time too.
OMG, thank you for posting this. Amelia still has to have her binky too! I've been feeling horrible about it lately with her 4th birthday just next week. She is addicted though, and can't give it up.
I hope someday I think of something good to bribe her with too. Until then, at least I don't feel so alone!
Aww what a great post! As you can tell already, you are not alone:D. We gave up Mia's binkie just a few weeks ago(she's about to turn 1); simply b/c i knew it'd only get harder if i didnt do it now. However, I dont judge you, or anyone else who has children still addicted to the binkie. (some days i wish we still had that darn thing) It's survival mode. every parent has gone through it, whether its binkies, bottles, blankies, thumbs, with one kid, 3 kids or 7 kids. And it all works out in the end. :D
thanks again for sharing!
jess
I see the girls got earrings! When did they get their ears pierced?
Thank you everyone for letting me know I am not alone!!! Binkies anonymous here we come :)
Anon, the girls have had their ears pierced for over a year now!
I love Alyssa's smile. It's like she's so proud of herself for her accomplishment. It is a huge one, too. It's hard to learn to do something new like falling asleep without something you've always had to comfort you.
I'm pretty sure that when I was in Europe I saw like a 7 year old kid with a binky. :)
my daughter is 29 years old and she still sleeps with her binky. she was in the hospital at age of 16 and it got picked up with the sheets and went down to the laundry room. they had to go through all of the laundry for the day until they found it..........
I'm not going to punish you because I also have a confession: my girls drink their milk from a bottle. I tried but at this moment they refused to drink their milk from a glass. And well, they need to drink milk, right?
Good luck and wish the three girls throw their binkies and get a surprise.
yeah, my trio still use pacifiers at night. We've always kept them in the bed only. They have to leave them in the crib when they get up. I too am hesitant to get rid of them b/c they sleep so well and I don't want to mess with a good thing. However we've decided we're going to get rid of them once we move to FL. I definitely want them for the cross country drive but after that we plan on getting rid of them. At 2 yrs of age they're not as easy to bribe or negotiate with as your girls so I am expecting a battle and some sleepless nights.
Congrats! I agree with the previous commenters - it's not a bribe, it's incentive! Goodness knows the promise of buying a pretty dress is all that gets me to work some mornings. :)
-Holly
Well I don't blame you at all since they're triplets and you've definitely needed all the sleep you can get since they were born. (I'm exhausted with one baby, I have no idea how you mom's of multiples do it.) I'm glad your girls are giving their binkies up now though. I think there's definitely a time and a place for a little bribing... I'm glad it's working. :)
yay Alyssa!! Ohh man it was so tough when we took Sammy's away.. we went cold turkey.. it was hard.. he was younger and he cried like we killed his best friend.. but each night got easier.. If I had more than 1 child I would have cried trying to do it.. I am all for bribing w/ this kind of thing!
Oh and one more thing, I totally have a paci stash. :)
I just have to say that I loved reading this. My 3 still have a paci and they are not potty trained at almost 3 years old. The world thinks bad of me but I don't care. Its all about coping with triplets plus one and oh, yes getting sleep.
And good for your girls doing it on their own.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You are doing what works for you and your girls. :)
that really was a great job your girls have done. i imagine it is as hard as stopping breastfeeding your baby.
congratulations, girls :)
Olivia still used a bottle until a few weeks ago. I was always embarrassed about it, but it turned into a comfort thing for her. Sometimes, she just wanted to cuddle up, watch Praise Baby and drink milk from her bottle. It was one of the few times that Olivia snuggled up with me and I was a little addicted to it too. I figure, all parents/kids have some sort of "secret" but we do what we have to in order to get by. LOL.
I, too, had a binky until I was 5. I remember loving it! My mother never had the heart to take it away from me until we moved. She told me it got lost in the move and I bought it. I like your approach of bribing and peer pressuring better!
Does your kids' dentist ever give you grief about what it's doing to their teeth? Ugh, I always hated those visits! Like I didn't know!!
My boy had a hard time giving up his too. I can't remember exactly (he's 10 now) but I want to say it was around 4 when he was completely done.
When I tell him of his former addiction, he doesn't believe me!
Looks like you are not alone:)...No judgement here but I must say I am a proud Auntie! That pic of Makenna with her binky and blankie is so great!!! I think she just might wait until her 5th Birthday and then we all have to hold her to her word:)...All for the love of sleep.
The binky falling in the toilet may be an idea!! That was funny!
SOOOOO know how you feel!!! Two of my girls still go to sleep with theirs (one has to have THREE!!!) and it's a constant paci-hunt around here. I totally have a stash myself! ;) It is SO true that you just do what you need to do for sleep! I'm glad to hear your story and may be trying your tactic soon! lol
I am 40. Still use a paci and have a major stash of them. My nieces/nephews/grandkids all steal them. I have a tiny mouth. also tiny hands and feet. Just a few nights ago my Mom was telling me my niece has to have spacers put in her mouth to give her a wider mouth? and said it was because she sucks her thumb. I think he is wrong but the look my Mom gave me telling me HA that is why your mouth is so small. Just not right! I am beyond embarrassed by this. But I know MANY as in more then 6 adults that still thumb suck or use a paci and they "come out" to me because I don't even bother to hide mine.
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